There are 8765 hours in a year. In the three years I’ve been widowed, 26,297 hours have ticked off. Recent events though have made me realize, my life isn’t so bad. Yes, its challenging at times but as the girls and I mark our third year without Risa and the passing of her mother (their grandma) at 8765 times three plus the circle of life we’re doing OK.
Maybe it’s the time of year that all of this occurs in – the holiday season filled with symbols that make the images of 2010 so vivid. There was Thanksgiving at our home, a very quiet day with the girls. We hosted Thanksgiving dinner again. It’s become an impotent part of our time together. We know where we are.
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Back then I got the call that Risa was starting to decline. This year the call was different but the message was not. A member of the family was approaching the end. This time it was Risa’s mom Grandma Eddy. As events unfolded I wrestled with how and when to tell the girls, the message similar to the one delivered years ago.
There we were at our temple’s Chanukah fair, where we were the day after Risa passed away. This year, instead of talking to the rabbi about Risa, the discussion was Risa’s mom.
The irony of the moment was not lost on me. Somehow, it seemed to make sense to keep things as normal as I could of the girls. Let them go through their day, be with their friends and celebrate the holidays. The moments that we remember.
There are 8765 hours in the year. 8765 times 3 plus the circle of life this year. It’s a moment we’ll share (again), but it’s also a reminder that all in all our lives are not so bad.
Risa and Grandma Eddy are gone, but not forgotten. We carry their memories each day. They are part of us 8765 hours a year – hopefully for many years to come.
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