I think it’s the kind of lesson you learn early in life, but you need a few years (OK decades) behind you to fully understand it. As we go through life we are always evolving and changing. But some how we’re still the same.
The reality is we can make changes around the edges. Actions, thoughts, feelings but we are the people we are. Those edges are what differentiates.
I can like the friends my children choose, but I don’t have to like their actions and decisions. It doesn’t make them bad people and I don’t think it makes me judgemental. WE are who we are and our life experiences color the way we see things. What is black and white to me has shades of gray to others who take a peek in.
But we can’t stop evolving or changing. We need to evolve and change to be alive. But we also can’t change the people we are.
I can look around – inward and outward – and say I’m a good guy. I try to be consistent in my decisions, but evolve and change so those decisions are colored by the changes.
But I’m also (I hope) true to myself. And I want my kids to be true to themselves.
My kids should not be the ones throwing food or being disrespectful. Its my expectation on them and on myself. I hope I am not disrespectful and I hope I can show those around me I am a good-hearted person. Perfect? No. But open, honest and able to evolve and change – but still remain the same. I hope.