The sayings go March comes in like a lion, goes out like a lamb to yield way to April showers for May flowers – April is not quite that optimistic a month for me. For me it’s a chance to mark birthdays and over think milestones – not all of which are happy but I suppose that is the fertilizer of my life’s may flowers.
April starts with marking Risa’s birthday (4/6). I have to confess it is among the dates I could never get right. I always knew it was the sixth or the eighth – so I was ready for the sixth and rolled with it. The month also the marks the passing of my father (4/14) and a reminder of my mortality (4/24).
Into that mix goes the rest of life that we deal with – the comings and goings of kids, the planning for events, work, school and all of the other pieces of life.
Last weekend 15.5 had a couple of camp friends over for a night. It’s a small group of girls that have been close for five years – and this is the first summer they won’t be all together. Some (like mine) are working, others are going to different summer programs and a few are going back for the next summer in camp.
I took that group plus 13.5 and one of her school friends to a local hibachi place for dinner. As we were sitting there and I looked at the girls (each of their faces glowing in the light of their iPhone) and realized simultaneously how lucky I am and wondered what if life had been different?
We got the crew back to our house and 13.5 and her friend went upstairs and 15.5 and her friends went downstairs – and I sat in the family room watching hockey. It wasn’t long before 15.5 asked me if a couple of boys could come over. “It’s on now,” I thought – but I was prepared for this (shockingly I’ve thought about it).
So the boys came over and joined the music and shouting in the basement and I sat on the couch – trying to figure out how to pirate the west coast games (I couldn’t) and managed to stay awake long enough for the last of the boys to leave just before midnight.
One of the thoughts was how would this play out in a two parent home? Would Risa have handled this differently? I’m pretty sure I handled it right and the kids all had a good time – but should there have been more rules? More supervision? Would a mom and daughter be a different mix than a dad and daughter?
I don’t get to change the equation on the last question. So as we mark what would have been Risa’s 47th birthday and the march of milestones go by – April birthdays and (over) thinking gets started.