I have a confession to make – more often than not I am punctual, meaning early to on time. For almost everything. If I wanted to further this confessional moment (which I guess I will), being late bothers me. When it comes to perceptions and time I’ve realized recently it’s not always a shared trait in my house.
This pertains more to 14.5 (unless it’s a weekend morning where I have to wake 12.5 up). Apparently being 5-10 minutes late for my older one is socially acceptable. And according to her I need to change my outlook on time to meet her needs, since my getting her going an hour before an event (or 40 minutes before leaving for school) is just too much time.
There are few things in life that are nearly totally manageable by the individual. There are always dependencies on other people (friends and family), other things (mass transit, traffic) or events (weather) that can impact when you arrive. But you can control when you leave, and manage the expectation of when you’ll arrive.
Professionally, I have a schedule at work and I try to respect not only my time commitments but the time commitments others have made to be in meetings (or on calls) with me. I try not to go over, I try to start on time and I try to be on time. Obviously it’s a less than perfect system since there are a lot of variables you can’t control.
A recent case study for this was yesterday when instead of a nice easy day of calls from the home office I was summoned out to New Jersey and the corporate HQ. So, instead of going to the gym and getting into my day I had to fight traffic and do all I could be on time for 1030 meeting – leaving my house with two and a half hours to travel. I was on time. I have no idea if the people who summoned me out to Basking Ridge know what it takes for me to be there at 1030 without notice. In this case perception and time are one in the same.
Yesterday my brother (who is still living in my basement for those keeping score), asked me about a trip he had to make for some on the job training. I thought travel time would be about 40 minutes under normal conditions. I had no idea what traffic would be like on a Saturday morning and no insight into the weather. So I told him to leave an hour early and kill 10 minutes. I have no idea if that is what he did, but in this case perception and time are one in the same.
So back to 14.5. She had to be at an outing with her class at temple at 11 this morning. It’s raining pretty steadily here and generally passing all the shopping locations on a Saturday morning can add 20 minutes to a drive. The place without traffic is about 20 minutes from our house. So, I left with an hour early – creating a 20 minute cushion.
You’d think she was two days early for the carrying on I had endured. Apparently, if I give her 10 minutes to leave the house she’ll move quicker than if I give her 40 minutes. This is based solely (according to her) on the amount of time she’ll be texting friends. I am not completely sure I see the correlation, but that is the argument.
I try to share with her my thoughts that people form opinions on you based on how you present yourself, and punctuality is the first item in that list – even before appearance. A moment where perception and time are linked. I’m not sure she agrees with the preface of the argument though. As far as she is concerned, five minutes late is on time.
As for 12.5, I guess if it doesn’t involve waking her up it there is no argument to be made for perception and time.